For as long as I can remember, I knew I would get married. I was that little girl who pranced around her bedroom in her nightgown, using a blanket as a veil, pretending it was my wedding day. It was just was girls did – get married. Somewhere along the way, I didn’t get obsessed enough to plan a wedding binder for my dream wedding one day. But, I knew I would plan a wedding. And it would be awesome. I also always assumed I would take my husband’s last name. That’s also what girls did – they changed their name. Not once did I waver from this assumption and I always tried my name with my boyfriend’s at least once, just to see how it sounded.
And now I’m actually planning a wedding and actually getting married and for some reason I’m having a hard time deciding whether or not I really want to change my last name. For one, I’ve kind of gotten used to it. Maybe if I had gotten married ten years ago, I wouldn’t be so attached to what I’m called each and every day among friends and colleagues. Also, a tiny bit of me is sad that my family’s last name won’t get passed down (one cousin has all girls, another is expecting… maybe she’ll get a boy!) Of course, it’s kind of a moot issue since we’re not planning on having kids, anyway. My co-workers and clients know me by my current name, but it’s not like I’ve built a work-identity around it. So, I don’t think it would be a big deal to start calling people with a new last name.
I’m not opposed to Travis’ last name; it’s not a bad one. And I know everyone has to get used to their name change and it sounds weird after a while. I’m also not opposed to all the steps it will take to change my SSN, driver’s license, registration, passport, etc. Yeah, it’ll take time and be a pain, but so is everything else that involves a form.
I am looking forward to being our own little family and sharing a last name would be neat.
I know there are married people out there, so I want to know: did you change your last name? Why not? And what is all this I hear about women changing their last name socially (like, among friends and whatnot) but not legally? Would that be confusing and a big pain in the butt?
Is it weird that I’m having such a hard time deciding? For the record, Travis has no qualms either way about my name change. I think a part of him would like it if I “took” his last name, but he wouldn’t be hurt in the slightest if I kept mine.
Are there convenience reasons for having the same last name? Like, if he’s in the hospital and I say I’m his wife but I don’t have his last name, are they going to ask for proof? Would we get split up on an airplane because we have different last names? I just don’t know!
ps – feel free to e-mail me about it, since I know it could be weird having all this in the comments