The kitten died. Randomly, suddenly, unexpectedly. He was fine at breakfast and sometime before lunch on Sunday he was gone (he was still at my parents’ place). All the other kittens are fine; it was just that kitten.
I had finally prodded Travis to the point where he was willing to consider bringing a kitten home if I could show him a plan to keep the kitten from ending up in Sadie’s mouth. I scoured the internet (no small feat – did you know there are still people who believe rubbing your animal’s nose in a mess is considered good training?) and looked for advice and tried to piece it all together into something that would work for us. Earlier that morning, I had just submitted my Husky/Kitten Integration Plan to Travis and he agreed that it might just work. I was confident that our sweet-but-dumb, high-prey-drive Sadie would not eat the new kitten. It was all going to work; we’d have a fluffy kitten in the house who would turn into a beautiful, friendly cat.
We had plans to take a motorcycle ride that day. We were checking tire pressures, warming up the engines, and cleaning the visors when my mom called. One little phone call to throw off the rest of the day. I thought I was okay, but as soon as I told Travis, I started bawling. Like, all-out tears-rolling-down crying and sobbing. Turns out, getting on a motorcycle is not the safest thing to do when you are so sad you can’t think straight.
I cried for the little kitten who didn’t get a chance to be a cat. I cried at the disappointment of not getting to bring a kitten home. I cried at the frustration of working so hard to put together a plan and then having the actual cat part of the plan go kaput. I cried for the cat who never got to be mine. I’m pretty sure I also said, “This is not fair.”
All this for a kitten I’d seen twice. It may seem silly and unwarranted, but I was just heartbroken. I just really wanted that kitten. We never even got to name him.
I still want a cat. I figure we have 20 years before we end up traveling the country in a motor home, which seems like plenty of time to have one cat. But I’m not going to look for one. When the time is right, when the cat is right, we’ll find it.